Jeff Stolarcyk somehow got his hands on a draft of the Lawyerbear: The Movie screenplay.

The marginalia lists it as the third draft of the screenplay, and there’s no way of knowing how much of the story has been changed (read: bastardized) by Time Warner just yet, but I have my fingers crossed that something resembling Church’s unique vision of a bear that is also a lawyer makes it intact to the screen. It’s quite literally The Country Bears meets 25th Hour meets A Few Good Men and it’s such a powerful read that it moved me to tears at least twice. The version of Lawyerbear that I’ve read is a dystopian introspection that would make Bret Easton Ellis flinch.

He makes some very good points and manages to give readers a good teaser without spoiling much at all. He should know that the heroin addiction was a “darkener” asked for by a Diet Coke-swilling New Line executive looking to get Eli Roth interested.